I would just like to put this on record. This evening I went to Moss Side Leisure Centre (google Moss Side reputation) to play squash, as I do once a week or so. Was running late so dashed into the changing room, slip into my stylish clobber, and ran out to play. After fierce spiritual conflict, returned to get dressed, most of which I managed to do. Save the last bit; ie putting on my coat, a yellowing rag containing my car keys, phone, wallet, card holder and Softmints. Nowhere to be seen. Fly back to court of spiritual clash - empty except for the aura of accomplishment. Mate goes to see if car is still there. Report loss of all dignity and identity to reception. Hesitate to ask her to call my mother. Another lady asks me over. My coat lies over the back of a chair. Someone had handed it in half an hour before. Still yellow and still laden with cargo.